Good day.Good night.Greetings! I trust that I have exercised my manners to address you regardless of the time you read this post.
BLUNT, like the objects used by hundreds of Lifetime actresses to bludgeon their husbands in those movies is how I would like to keep this post. I am not concerned with forcing poise or grace which would only serve to stifle what I want to accomplish here. I want to keep it real and BLUNT, BLUNT like the zeb and the "zhob" being rolled together in perfect high grade unison.
It is important to note that every woman is different so this will NOT apply to every woman and that is perfectly okay.
The plight starts just as we begin to sprout breasts. At that point it becomes easier to separate the boys from the girls, bearing in mind that some chubby boys have boobies and some girls who haven't hit puberty as yet still have board-like chests. Once our boobs pass the size of a grapefruit we just can't run free titty like we use to. Jumping is a no-no because the rebound means gland pain in your mama...mammary glands. And that's just one of the crosses that women bare than men grossly under estimate.
One other such cross in my opinion is the dreaded bikini line. You know it becomes a great great mammoth (lol) of a problem when you want to hit the beach in between your shave days. Its right in the thick of things that your spontaneity is just stifled, like lets say when your friends say they're coming by in 15 minutes to hit the beach and there you are putting on the bikini panty and WAHPAA ...full fledged scriggles of pwel ie. hair on either side. Now I know some of you prissy females will want to act like you shave every day but we all know that the skin can become quite "leather" after such frequency. Point is as liberated as some women are to not care much about body hair or shaving , other women just aren't down for the panty afro look....so off we must go delaying our friends and allowing the drinks to get hot in the trunk whilst we squander minutes shaving for personal aesthetics and peace of mind.
Lets move on a little more to the south. You know, nothing is quite as romantic as snuggling up onto a sofa. I'm talking Netflix and chill, you feel me. So the bae pulls your feet onto him, He's trying to get you cozy- you know and as he slithers his fornicator fingers past the boundaries of your blessed ankles he feels a stumble similar to his beard hair. Its rough, its prickly, its itchy. Now when you become settled in your relationship..these minute peeves fade away, but on the dating scene, Mans wanna look freshh!! We're trying to have these swimmer legs. We want confusion deep in the cob-webs of his mind. He has to say to himself ..he can't believe these legs aren't butter. Enough of my Majee i.e nonsense.
SO altogether lets just summarize body hair. Some women like it and some women don't care for it. Its part of being a woman and totally normal but it can be down right embarrassing ...especially the under arm kind and the way it coagulates white antiperspirant into tiny gross balls..Fantastic and its even more wonderful when you raise your hands to let the cashier know that 3pcs and biscuit order is yours. These things leave us red in the face and give men the heebiejeebies.
We're going to stay right there in the southern region and discuss how every month the inside of one of our major organs liquefies and runs out of our hooha. Its tragic really because though its painless for some women, it's a necessary anguish for those women fortunate enough to have a regular cycle. If you don't see a regular period, you may have medical issues that require your concern.
Every where we turn we're being bombarded by consumerism geared towards our feminine needs and or insecurities, like pads. Super flow, ultra thin, teenage, "sport", tampons-long, short unscented because like I said "not every woman is the same" .
Now because we come in all shapes and sizes, we need various items of clothing which serves to flatter or accentuate said sizes and proportions that we have. For instance a feature as basic as boobs. Are you aware gentlemen that the bras get more expensive the bigger the melons...and even so the straps dig into our shoulders and the underwire threatens to stab us in the heart. Then for those of us aspiring toward an unnaturally tiny waist line and cellulite free legs we have waist trainers, cincheres and shape wear which are all devoted to sliming us down by massively deceptive proportions till our bodies lapse under the pressure and mold, just like jello to our pricey purchase silhouettes.
For centuries women have devoted massive amounts of money towards the unattainable goal of perfection...some say its only for themselves and other admit that societal pressures have in fact conditioned us into a mental state of dependency on all matter which promise an increase in our level of beauty....
This post has gotten long but I trust that I've left the women thinking and the men, a bit more appreciative...for chances are..what you see, is probably far more expensive than what you think you are getting.
We are your human counterparts, not hairless, odorless, flawless porcelein dolls that do not eat or drink or fart.
Be Blessed and Enlighted.
As always- unapologetically told
by Stella X
BLUNT, like the objects used by hundreds of Lifetime actresses to bludgeon their husbands in those movies is how I would like to keep this post. I am not concerned with forcing poise or grace which would only serve to stifle what I want to accomplish here. I want to keep it real and BLUNT, BLUNT like the zeb and the "zhob" being rolled together in perfect high grade unison.
It is important to note that every woman is different so this will NOT apply to every woman and that is perfectly okay.
The plight starts just as we begin to sprout breasts. At that point it becomes easier to separate the boys from the girls, bearing in mind that some chubby boys have boobies and some girls who haven't hit puberty as yet still have board-like chests. Once our boobs pass the size of a grapefruit we just can't run free titty like we use to. Jumping is a no-no because the rebound means gland pain in your mama...mammary glands. And that's just one of the crosses that women bare than men grossly under estimate.
One other such cross in my opinion is the dreaded bikini line. You know it becomes a great great mammoth (lol) of a problem when you want to hit the beach in between your shave days. Its right in the thick of things that your spontaneity is just stifled, like lets say when your friends say they're coming by in 15 minutes to hit the beach and there you are putting on the bikini panty and WAHPAA ...full fledged scriggles of pwel ie. hair on either side. Now I know some of you prissy females will want to act like you shave every day but we all know that the skin can become quite "leather" after such frequency. Point is as liberated as some women are to not care much about body hair or shaving , other women just aren't down for the panty afro look....so off we must go delaying our friends and allowing the drinks to get hot in the trunk whilst we squander minutes shaving for personal aesthetics and peace of mind.
Lets move on a little more to the south. You know, nothing is quite as romantic as snuggling up onto a sofa. I'm talking Netflix and chill, you feel me. So the bae pulls your feet onto him, He's trying to get you cozy- you know and as he slithers his fornicator fingers past the boundaries of your blessed ankles he feels a stumble similar to his beard hair. Its rough, its prickly, its itchy. Now when you become settled in your relationship..these minute peeves fade away, but on the dating scene, Mans wanna look freshh!! We're trying to have these swimmer legs. We want confusion deep in the cob-webs of his mind. He has to say to himself ..he can't believe these legs aren't butter. Enough of my Majee i.e nonsense.
SO altogether lets just summarize body hair. Some women like it and some women don't care for it. Its part of being a woman and totally normal but it can be down right embarrassing ...especially the under arm kind and the way it coagulates white antiperspirant into tiny gross balls..Fantastic and its even more wonderful when you raise your hands to let the cashier know that 3pcs and biscuit order is yours. These things leave us red in the face and give men the heebiejeebies.
We're going to stay right there in the southern region and discuss how every month the inside of one of our major organs liquefies and runs out of our hooha. Its tragic really because though its painless for some women, it's a necessary anguish for those women fortunate enough to have a regular cycle. If you don't see a regular period, you may have medical issues that require your concern.
Every where we turn we're being bombarded by consumerism geared towards our feminine needs and or insecurities, like pads. Super flow, ultra thin, teenage, "sport", tampons-long, short unscented because like I said "not every woman is the same" .
Now because we come in all shapes and sizes, we need various items of clothing which serves to flatter or accentuate said sizes and proportions that we have. For instance a feature as basic as boobs. Are you aware gentlemen that the bras get more expensive the bigger the melons...and even so the straps dig into our shoulders and the underwire threatens to stab us in the heart. Then for those of us aspiring toward an unnaturally tiny waist line and cellulite free legs we have waist trainers, cincheres and shape wear which are all devoted to sliming us down by massively deceptive proportions till our bodies lapse under the pressure and mold, just like jello to our pricey purchase silhouettes.
For centuries women have devoted massive amounts of money towards the unattainable goal of perfection...some say its only for themselves and other admit that societal pressures have in fact conditioned us into a mental state of dependency on all matter which promise an increase in our level of beauty....
This post has gotten long but I trust that I've left the women thinking and the men, a bit more appreciative...for chances are..what you see, is probably far more expensive than what you think you are getting.
We are your human counterparts, not hairless, odorless, flawless porcelein dolls that do not eat or drink or fart.
Be Blessed and Enlighted.
As always- unapologetically told
by Stella X
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