Bonjour !Bon soir! ça va !
If you've clicked on here, chances are you value knowledge and that is commendable. Knowledge is power especially in the dating arena.
Perhaps you're plagued;
mentally harassed as to what about you could possibly be causing women to flee for the hills. The advice from your bros thus far hasn't landed you any female (in your opinion) that you could have a healthy future with. Frankly, you don't even get past a third date. You want to be the sort of man, that women desire. NO- I am not here to betray all womankind by turning you into a full fledged gigolo but I will help you out.
We women are different! and that's a VERY important thing to note. Below you will find 10 important perspectives that I hope will broaden yours. Let's start with the physical.
GUYS,We aren't all superficial. Matter of fact, we can overlook a multitude of flaws in the name of love but some things are just down right disgusting. Starting with-
1. We ARE looking at your teeth.
For crying out loud,we're talking! where else are we suppose to look but straight at the place the words are coming from.We want to see a clean gum-line,not plaque calcification or early signs of gingivitis. We want to see a pink tongue (not a white tongue) as you laugh boldly at your own jokes. So pay attention to your oral hygiene. Don't gloss over with gum and tic tacs. Lets us know that you are serious about cleaning your mouth,after all, you're hoping to kiss us with it. LET IT BE CLEAN!
2. Your fingernails - Your toe nails -Your ear canal.
If you're sprucing for a date guys, soak your nails! Clean them, do what you must to present the best and neatest version of yourself. Its not inviting if you look grimy. If you're wearing flipflops- moisturize! Give those heels a little petroleum jelly. Not too much though. Make sure your get those ears after your shower. Women scan all nooks and crannies so leave the heavy wax for your car.
3. How you speak! especially to your Mother.
Conversation is an inescapable route of getting to know someone. At some point you must talk in person. We are listening not only to the sound of your voice,(which we were cheated out of via text),but we want to hear how you express yourself. Do you say "uh" after every word? Are your brief? Do your communication skills need work? Are you a disrespectful motherlover?!?! All these things- we need to know. Important to note here- is that we're picking up strong frequencies off of how you speak to your mother. Frankly, if you can't value or respect the woman who gave birth to you and raised you all these years, it speaks sorrowful volumes of how you would regard us. (Please don't pretend either- we can pick that up as well and if we don't, your mom will probably pull us in a corner somewhere whispering to us how much you've changed and how grateful she is that we're in your life...umm..NUH!)
4. Your sense of style.
Look, you don't have to go broke buying the latest basketball sneakers nor do you have to borrow clothes to feign a style that isn't you. We're looking out for your vibe and how your charisma influences your fashion sense. Are you extra? Are you basic? Can you dress for an occasion?Are you impractical- like wearing a full scarf, hoodie,beanie and or bubble jacket in the blazing caribbean sun? Can we envision you as our "+1" at future functions? We want to know if you're crazy...so we can stay away...
5. Alignment of your words and actions.
This is a BIG one guys.
I'm sure you've been told that women want consistency in a relationship. Well, long before the relationship women are testing your character and in this day, their weapon of choice is social media. Chances are after you guys have swapped numbers, she has input your name into every social media site possible, scoping your posts, your likes and your interactions. Creepy I know but banks do character references and nobody judges them so, meh. Some women may be shallow and may just want a nice enough picture of you to flash to their friends to get validation but other women, do the FBI work themselves. We're looking for stuff like "why would you tell us you're vegan but we see a picture of you sucking the burger juice off your hand at a BBQ with your friends". We want to know if you're an impressionist. Not actually being who you claimed to be is a really big turn off and is enough to keep you permanently in the friend zone IF she decides she wants to be friends with you at all.
6. What your friends say about you.
This may not always be a very credible source as some men keep acquainted with people who vouch for their character even when these friends know that these men are sleazy good for nothings.There is more often than not, one honest and impartial friend or family member who will attempt to give us the heads up if you guys are cheating or a risky choice as a mate. Initially, many women disregard the warnings but in retrospect, we have learned that sometimes Your friends are right, after all, they were around before us.
7. Your belief system.
What you believe in is at the centre of you. Fundamentally it will control your actions. People who believe in nothing are restrained by nothing. If she's a Christian, she's paying attention to your walk with God, if you too claim to be a Christian as well. If you strongly believe in respecting women, she will be tuned in when a female driver cuts across you in traffic. How you express your frustration will be under scrutiny.Naturally, if you start cursing or threatening to drag the other driver out of her car to beat her up, your date will realize that these values you claim to believe in do not run deeply to the core of who you are. This will leave her to the conclusion that she cannot rely on them nor necessarily believe you when you encourage her to have faith in or trust you.
8. How you smell
It is perfectly okay to get a second opinion from someone close to you who you can trust to be honest. I am convinced that humans don't know their personal scent. If anything, we may be able to pick up when something is off- like when our B.O (body odor) is reeking but other than that, it seems to go under the radar for those guys with a B.O problem. I know a guy, whom I encountered a lot on a daily basis. He had a rancid breath problem. I kid you not, I would rather have someone reverse their car onto my foot than have him heave a breath into my face. It smelled so bad! It seemed like more than just an oral hygiene issue- he must have had some cavities in there but I am convinced that it was probably deeply related to his health. It was brought to his attention and he made the necessary changes. NOW, people can delight in his insightful conversation as oppose to being repelled by the putrid scent of his breath. In his case, it was his breath and in other cases, it could be a sweaty scent or a "doesn't shower" odor. Also guys, PERFUME! some of them these days contain something called pheromones. Google defines pheromones as
If you've clicked on here, chances are you value knowledge and that is commendable. Knowledge is power especially in the dating arena.
mentally harassed as to what about you could possibly be causing women to flee for the hills. The advice from your bros thus far hasn't landed you any female (in your opinion) that you could have a healthy future with. Frankly, you don't even get past a third date. You want to be the sort of man, that women desire. NO- I am not here to betray all womankind by turning you into a full fledged gigolo but I will help you out.
We women are different! and that's a VERY important thing to note. Below you will find 10 important perspectives that I hope will broaden yours. Let's start with the physical.
GUYS,We aren't all superficial. Matter of fact, we can overlook a multitude of flaws in the name of love but some things are just down right disgusting. Starting with-
YOUR GROOMING!!
1. We ARE looking at your teeth.
For crying out loud,we're talking! where else are we suppose to look but straight at the place the words are coming from.We want to see a clean gum-line,not plaque calcification or early signs of gingivitis. We want to see a pink tongue (not a white tongue) as you laugh boldly at your own jokes. So pay attention to your oral hygiene. Don't gloss over with gum and tic tacs. Lets us know that you are serious about cleaning your mouth,after all, you're hoping to kiss us with it. LET IT BE CLEAN!
2. Your fingernails - Your toe nails -Your ear canal.
If you're sprucing for a date guys, soak your nails! Clean them, do what you must to present the best and neatest version of yourself. Its not inviting if you look grimy. If you're wearing flipflops- moisturize! Give those heels a little petroleum jelly. Not too much though. Make sure your get those ears after your shower. Women scan all nooks and crannies so leave the heavy wax for your car.
3. How you speak! especially to your Mother.
Conversation is an inescapable route of getting to know someone. At some point you must talk in person. We are listening not only to the sound of your voice,(which we were cheated out of via text),but we want to hear how you express yourself. Do you say "uh" after every word? Are your brief? Do your communication skills need work? Are you a disrespectful motherlover?!?! All these things- we need to know. Important to note here- is that we're picking up strong frequencies off of how you speak to your mother. Frankly, if you can't value or respect the woman who gave birth to you and raised you all these years, it speaks sorrowful volumes of how you would regard us. (Please don't pretend either- we can pick that up as well and if we don't, your mom will probably pull us in a corner somewhere whispering to us how much you've changed and how grateful she is that we're in your life...umm..NUH!)
4. Your sense of style.
Look, you don't have to go broke buying the latest basketball sneakers nor do you have to borrow clothes to feign a style that isn't you. We're looking out for your vibe and how your charisma influences your fashion sense. Are you extra? Are you basic? Can you dress for an occasion?Are you impractical- like wearing a full scarf, hoodie,beanie and or bubble jacket in the blazing caribbean sun? Can we envision you as our "+1" at future functions? We want to know if you're crazy...so we can stay away...
5. Alignment of your words and actions.
This is a BIG one guys.
 |
6. What your friends say about you.
This may not always be a very credible source as some men keep acquainted with people who vouch for their character even when these friends know that these men are sleazy good for nothings.There is more often than not, one honest and impartial friend or family member who will attempt to give us the heads up if you guys are cheating or a risky choice as a mate. Initially, many women disregard the warnings but in retrospect, we have learned that sometimes Your friends are right, after all, they were around before us.
7. Your belief system.
What you believe in is at the centre of you. Fundamentally it will control your actions. People who believe in nothing are restrained by nothing. If she's a Christian, she's paying attention to your walk with God, if you too claim to be a Christian as well. If you strongly believe in respecting women, she will be tuned in when a female driver cuts across you in traffic. How you express your frustration will be under scrutiny.Naturally, if you start cursing or threatening to drag the other driver out of her car to beat her up, your date will realize that these values you claim to believe in do not run deeply to the core of who you are. This will leave her to the conclusion that she cannot rely on them nor necessarily believe you when you encourage her to have faith in or trust you.
8. How you smell
It is perfectly okay to get a second opinion from someone close to you who you can trust to be honest. I am convinced that humans don't know their personal scent. If anything, we may be able to pick up when something is off- like when our B.O (body odor) is reeking but other than that, it seems to go under the radar for those guys with a B.O problem. I know a guy, whom I encountered a lot on a daily basis. He had a rancid breath problem. I kid you not, I would rather have someone reverse their car onto my foot than have him heave a breath into my face. It smelled so bad! It seemed like more than just an oral hygiene issue- he must have had some cavities in there but I am convinced that it was probably deeply related to his health. It was brought to his attention and he made the necessary changes. NOW, people can delight in his insightful conversation as oppose to being repelled by the putrid scent of his breath. In his case, it was his breath and in other cases, it could be a sweaty scent or a "doesn't shower" odor. Also guys, PERFUME! some of them these days contain something called pheromones. Google defines pheromones as
pher·o·mone
- "a chemical substance produced and released into the environment by an animal, especially a mammal or an insect, affecting the behavior or physiology of others of its species."
Simply put, your scent ,natural or store bought can in fact attract and arouse a female just as what happens naturally in the animal kingdom. Cool huh!
9. Are you cheap?
Look guys, I know some of you may have stiffened as I mentioned this especially with so many gold diggers and sugar babies running rampant. Remember, I didn't ask ..."Are you rich?" I asked if you were cheap. It would make any woman uncomfortable to perhaps be in need of a bottle of water and to see her date penny pinch a few dollars for her comfort. Ultimately, its not whether you have the most but how generous and considerate you are with the little or "lot" that you have. Hard and miserly men show that they value their money above all else. Yes, it is great to be driven but the ambition to earn loads of money is fruitless if its just to gratify your ego. I'm not saying break the bank or spend what you don't have but please note, that relationships are about meeting the needs of your significant other emotionally, physically, intellectually,spiritually and sexually..and yes, financially too. So if you can't bear to part from your money especially to care for us in little ways like water, flowers or even a nice card...granted that these are all things you can afford, then its just not going to go much further.
I want to add this disclaimer-Guys, if you don't have the money, I am not encouraging you to rob or plunder. Live within your means and work to improve your situation. What a sensible woman is looking at is the heart of your generosity. A man who buys us flowers and takes us to dinner to surprise us with expensive jewelry is not a catch if at the end of the night we're threatened by him to repay his generosity with sexual favours, so please don't be discouraged if you currently lack the means to express your feelings the way you would like to.The right woman will understand.
10. Are you goal oriented?
Women love stability and in turn whether we care to admit it or not, we love men who provide stability. Many women dote on the future and strive to see their dreams become a reality. In turn we are looking for someone who is ambitious and supportive. The bible speaks of women being the help mate to the man and being led by him. Try seeing things from our point of view, how do we help a man with no plan and why should we feel inclined to follow a man with no vision or one that leads down a destructive path? Submission is made so much easier when a man knows himself and what he is working towards.
So, Man..know thyself before you go hankering for anybody's daughter.
Always Unapologetically Soulful,
Stella.
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