Undoubtedly, man understands the importance of protecting oneself. We have invented masks, coats, gloves, boots to shield ourselves from the elements. We have even prioritized protection in something as raw as sex- contraceptives, condoms right down to avoiding what we understand to be potentially harmful altogether.
It is a powerful thing for an individual to come to an understanding of him or herself. It is important to understand your strengths and your weakness so that you operate in knowledge and know how best to protect yourself.
I have endured unnecessary personal suffering by being reluctant to set boundaries about certain matters which I know required my intervention and if you too, have made such a mistake, I'm sure you had to endure things you feel could have been avoided.
It is an unfortunate conclusion to draw as an optimist,however after a riveting conversation with a mentor 20 years my senior- He presented this view which I in time came to understand- "as much as man tends to deny it, he operates to serve his own self interest". For you to come to a holistic understanding of this theory, I would have to regurgitate the entire argument. Today is not the day for that. Grabbing this snippet however, we shall move on, with this theory; that all man does is in his own self interest. That reveals the world to be a far more dangerous and competitive atmosphere. It transitions from a globe of rainbows and butterflies to fierce manipulation, competitive and glorification of ego.
If indeed that this theory, which by my experience has been proven true- we would be operating in a world or selfishness. A cold world and one full of greed.A world where just about each man his a capitalist or has the capacity to be one in his own heart.
There is a loophole to everything and so we know, that clearly, not everyone thinks like this,however the likelihood of you encountering individuals who have an agenda to push which includes using or manipulating you-is still a possibility. The risk factor then multiplies by your trust or emotional connection to this person and further by the depth of this person's agenda.
There are some things that were not taught at school which are so important to be aware of when transitioning into adulthood,lest it be a far more maddening process than it already is.
Everyone is not who they say they are. Evident by Facebook, Instagram and all our social media- we present the best versions of ourselves. People are scarcely honest about abusive relationship, financial struggles, sexual promiscuity and illness online. So firstly, don't believe everything you see there and then when standing flesh to flesh, be critical also of what you hear and see, because INauthenticity knows that by concealing what is really INside can appear authentic. People are not always who they say they are. Cater for such surprises.
2. The departed angel which is Maya Angelou, a woman, a writer, a person I admire so greatly, said these words that have remained with me. "when people show you who they are the first time-BELIEVE THEM". If we are honest with ourselves, we will dare to admit that many of the anguish we may have suffered in this life is because we remained in denial of certain facts. We didn't want to believe that people were who they revealed themselves to be at some point . We didn't want to process the fact that all logic geared towards rational conclusions like " he/she lies, he/she hits me and its really not a game-it hurts , he/she uses me for my money, he/she uses me for my companionship or my sex, He/she doesn't really love me back, he/she is cheating on me ,he/she does not respect my family or values ,he /she does is not the person they claim to be."
None of these are palatable truths, so its no surprise that many of us would rather operate in denial, send our pleas before God and hope for something different. The fact is, God has already revealed everything you would need to know and in order to discern, you have to set man's words aside which become the static they use to cloud your judgement and analysis their actions along with what God is telling you.
eg. Forget a man saying he loves you when in fact and action -he hits you. You become confused when you believe his word which is not coherent with his action but rather totally aligned with the harsh truth-this person hits you.
eg.2. Forget when a man/woman says that they love your or are interested in you, when all roads lead to deviant behavior. Make no mistake, people always know what they want and indecision is also a decision deep down inside. Do not be swayed by the excuses used by people who do not want to commit-that is simply a way of safeguarding your feelings and serving their own self interest, which is, keeping you close enough to be at their beck and call without having you close enough for you to become their serious responsibility. If someone wants you- they make it clear, if they don't...all excuses will be harnessed in the universe to explain why you are not the one, this is not the time and other things are a priority. When you want something and I mean really want something, you do what it takes, but you make it work- not so?
It is your personal responsibility to guard yourself from people and their intentions. Tough you cannot control another man's intention, in some situations, we do have control in preventing them from coming to fruition. If someone comes with the intent to take advantage of you- though you cannot control that this is their intent- you can say no " awa pa ici ah pyes!! how is me uh ? ( That was a lil lucian patois which means, no,not here at all. Simply meaning that no, this will not be allowed to happen.
You have the liberty to speak out and state when you feel you have been treated unfairly. When people have done things to you you did not appreciate and personally, something I loathe- when people lie to me. We cannot control who comes to our life but we control who stays and we can easily deny VISA to anyone who we feel threatens our peace of mind.
Setting boundaries is important. It assists you in controlling your stress levels and is a declaration to others of the transgressions you shall not allow against yourself.
Sadly, even with boundaries in place, issues have arose where I realize I have left aspects of my life unchecked and need to regulate who and how I trust . It is my sincerest hope that this reaches you in time where you are able to engage in serious introspection and man your life accordingly, before any stress is felt or any tears are shed.
As a close friend says "My peace is important to me and if it threatens my peace it has to go"
It is so sad as I right this, that I too have decided that many things and people can no longer dwell in my sphere...and I have decided to do so courageously and unapologetically...
May the peace and good intent of this post reach you.
-Always Soulfully
-Always Stella.
It is a powerful thing for an individual to come to an understanding of him or herself. It is important to understand your strengths and your weakness so that you operate in knowledge and know how best to protect yourself.
I have endured unnecessary personal suffering by being reluctant to set boundaries about certain matters which I know required my intervention and if you too, have made such a mistake, I'm sure you had to endure things you feel could have been avoided.
It is an unfortunate conclusion to draw as an optimist,however after a riveting conversation with a mentor 20 years my senior- He presented this view which I in time came to understand- "as much as man tends to deny it, he operates to serve his own self interest". For you to come to a holistic understanding of this theory, I would have to regurgitate the entire argument. Today is not the day for that. Grabbing this snippet however, we shall move on, with this theory; that all man does is in his own self interest. That reveals the world to be a far more dangerous and competitive atmosphere. It transitions from a globe of rainbows and butterflies to fierce manipulation, competitive and glorification of ego.
If indeed that this theory, which by my experience has been proven true- we would be operating in a world or selfishness. A cold world and one full of greed.A world where just about each man his a capitalist or has the capacity to be one in his own heart.
There is a loophole to everything and so we know, that clearly, not everyone thinks like this,however the likelihood of you encountering individuals who have an agenda to push which includes using or manipulating you-is still a possibility. The risk factor then multiplies by your trust or emotional connection to this person and further by the depth of this person's agenda.
There are some things that were not taught at school which are so important to be aware of when transitioning into adulthood,lest it be a far more maddening process than it already is.
Everyone is not who they say they are. Evident by Facebook, Instagram and all our social media- we present the best versions of ourselves. People are scarcely honest about abusive relationship, financial struggles, sexual promiscuity and illness online. So firstly, don't believe everything you see there and then when standing flesh to flesh, be critical also of what you hear and see, because INauthenticity knows that by concealing what is really INside can appear authentic. People are not always who they say they are. Cater for such surprises.
2. The departed angel which is Maya Angelou, a woman, a writer, a person I admire so greatly, said these words that have remained with me. "when people show you who they are the first time-BELIEVE THEM". If we are honest with ourselves, we will dare to admit that many of the anguish we may have suffered in this life is because we remained in denial of certain facts. We didn't want to believe that people were who they revealed themselves to be at some point . We didn't want to process the fact that all logic geared towards rational conclusions like " he/she lies, he/she hits me and its really not a game-it hurts , he/she uses me for my money, he/she uses me for my companionship or my sex, He/she doesn't really love me back, he/she is cheating on me ,he/she does not respect my family or values ,he /she does is not the person they claim to be."
None of these are palatable truths, so its no surprise that many of us would rather operate in denial, send our pleas before God and hope for something different. The fact is, God has already revealed everything you would need to know and in order to discern, you have to set man's words aside which become the static they use to cloud your judgement and analysis their actions along with what God is telling you.
eg. Forget a man saying he loves you when in fact and action -he hits you. You become confused when you believe his word which is not coherent with his action but rather totally aligned with the harsh truth-this person hits you.
eg.2. Forget when a man/woman says that they love your or are interested in you, when all roads lead to deviant behavior. Make no mistake, people always know what they want and indecision is also a decision deep down inside. Do not be swayed by the excuses used by people who do not want to commit-that is simply a way of safeguarding your feelings and serving their own self interest, which is, keeping you close enough to be at their beck and call without having you close enough for you to become their serious responsibility. If someone wants you- they make it clear, if they don't...all excuses will be harnessed in the universe to explain why you are not the one, this is not the time and other things are a priority. When you want something and I mean really want something, you do what it takes, but you make it work- not so?
It is your personal responsibility to guard yourself from people and their intentions. Tough you cannot control another man's intention, in some situations, we do have control in preventing them from coming to fruition. If someone comes with the intent to take advantage of you- though you cannot control that this is their intent- you can say no " awa pa ici ah pyes!! how is me uh ? ( That was a lil lucian patois which means, no,not here at all. Simply meaning that no, this will not be allowed to happen.
You have the liberty to speak out and state when you feel you have been treated unfairly. When people have done things to you you did not appreciate and personally, something I loathe- when people lie to me. We cannot control who comes to our life but we control who stays and we can easily deny VISA to anyone who we feel threatens our peace of mind.
Setting boundaries is important. It assists you in controlling your stress levels and is a declaration to others of the transgressions you shall not allow against yourself.
Sadly, even with boundaries in place, issues have arose where I realize I have left aspects of my life unchecked and need to regulate who and how I trust . It is my sincerest hope that this reaches you in time where you are able to engage in serious introspection and man your life accordingly, before any stress is felt or any tears are shed.
As a close friend says "My peace is important to me and if it threatens my peace it has to go"
It is so sad as I right this, that I too have decided that many things and people can no longer dwell in my sphere...and I have decided to do so courageously and unapologetically...
May the peace and good intent of this post reach you.
-Always Soulfully
-Always Stella.
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