You know guys, at some point, we must address the elephant in the room and today is the day we do that .
So, lets get right to it. Shamelessly, I will admit that today I have had abounding peace..and two days ago, I actually slept after 40 whole days ,believe it or not. (we're talking a decent night's rest here with peace of mind and all that jazz) .
I have been very reluctant in the past to address certain matters because I fear a breach of my own privacy, however- I believe people in the world really need to understand that they are not alone in many of the situations that make them feel that they are.
Remember!- you're honestly not alone in this
and
"you're not the only person dealing with this."
Many things in this world have the capacity to break out spirit- (namely and basically) abandonment,betrayal and rejection. That's pretty much what it all boils down to.
When someone dies, we easily feel abandoned and in come rushing all the horrid emotions with knowing that someone you love has passed away . Perhaps you and your best friend have a semi- permanent fall out- chances are betrayal was probably in there somewhere. Let's say you love someone but they don't love you back, they say NO to your marriage proposal- Rejection. All this to show that though our experiences with hurt and pain are different- we are not exempted from it. Ir is just manifested differently in all our lives .
At this current moment, I have many people in my life dealing with heartache- I am also one of them. It is not entirely romantic for all of us. Some have lost family, some have lost lovers, some are coping with unrequited love and others are dealing with watching their sleezeball ex's either cheat or move on. Love triangles, love quadrangles, baby mamas, baby daddies, hostile take over jabals, Cruella deville in laws ruining relationships. ...Whats my point?
My point is everyone is dealing with shit.
I was on Facebook a moment ago and I came across a "Chor Soaps "(a piece of soaps/Soaps/Drama). Sadly, a couple split up, the girl looks like she is having the time of her life..and well the man who apparently benefited from her somewhat popularity has vanished into the background. I wondered for a moment how that guy was doing.
It appeared that he was the last to move on. Personally, I managed to earn my Master's degree in moving on late. I'm not embarrassed to say...and well, though my little observation online of "he who shall not be named" may be untrue, personally, its something I must address because I have reached an emotional milestone.
I, as at a few days ago, was able to look myself in the eye and say yes..I love him, deeply,passionately,completely, in my imperfection and in his..I love him but so what..and at the point where I said so what- I accepted a lot of what was killing me slowly inside and that my dear is really important. Some of us would opt out of accepting our emotions towards a situation and in turn delay our wake up call and healing .
No more emotionally bypassing. I cannot bypass the heartache. You cannot bypass the heartache..so just feel it. Its human to feel things. It is testament to what was shared and there is nothing wrong with that. On bad day, you will remember hugs as if they were happening right now. You will remember jokes, you will remember drives and road trips ..You will remember everything, right down to the curl of their lips when they laughed and you will feel powerless in effecting change. On a good day, you will smile at every passerby and they will marvel at your kindness and you in turn will be surprised that you can still have a good day with very few sad thoughts.
Resistance is truly futile. A great part of moving on is accepting how you feel. It doesn't necessarily mean acting on these emotions-for instance, the spells of anger need to be ignored most times, especially if it borders violence. Break ups don't need to equal jail time and saying holding onto your peace is a big part of it.
You may at times wonder how you were so blind, how did you let this happen. You may even get mad at God and wonder why he could spite you with such misfortune. Your relationship with God will also improve if you allow it. ]You may need constant and round the clock attention from friends and buddies to keep you upbeat and smiling, if you opt out of rebounding...and unfortunately, even with a million friends..You will spend many moments feeling quite alone and un-relate-able. Worse are the hours when you should be sleeping..but can't...or eating but can't...or working..but can't...or plain ole enjoying the moment..but find it so hard to.
It is at the moment where you find yourself experiencing sheer difficulty with the basics of your life that you may encounter people who want to give you that oh so ballsy pep talk. That gutsy move on! speech. The revealing talks about how all this time they thought your lover was a loser...and all the crap that you don't want to hear because it doesn't console you and simply leaves you feeling prompted to just Lavern Spencer your way over the whole situation and act as if it never happened ...but feeling your way through it is necessary.
You see, whatever we don't learn, will be retaught. God is a gracious and patient teacher and he is determined to ensure we learn the syllabus necessary for living. Bypassing emotions issues, rebounding and all other quick fixes may keep us seemingly stable for a while..but sooner or later, the same lesson will walk into your life with a different name, eye colour, even nationality if necessary and will continue to do so, till you process whatever virtue you lack in character.
So, if you opt to walk through the valley of the shadow of death, fear no evil. God is with you. You are here for a reason. Your life is happening as it is, right now for a reason. Keep doing the best you can with the knowledge that you have, because God is at work. Perhaps your crush has just played you, you lover of three years cheated ,Your divorce has been finalized and you still love him or her...but the reality is, yes you love them- but so what.Loving someone is not the end of the world.
Your life is not on hold while you hold back tears or let them flood in...and so yes, you may love him/her deeply and you may continue to do so for weeks,years even but you ought not to deprive yourself of enjoying your life also just because you love someone who makes you question whether they even loved you at all.
I personally am tired of the lies and won't add insult to injury by lying to myself and so I would not recommend such.
Feeling like you can go over the moon and back for someone doesn't mean that you're going hi jack a space shuttle in Nassau to do so. If love is what you feel towards him/her but you realize that destiny has engaged Operation Move On...then do yourself the kind and simple favour..Just admit
Yes, I love you.
Yes, I love her.
Yes, I love him...but so What... This is all for a season and God is always ,ALWAYS , in all ways, in control.
-For those who are the last to move on.
Always Soulful,
Stella.
So, lets get right to it. Shamelessly, I will admit that today I have had abounding peace..and two days ago, I actually slept after 40 whole days ,believe it or not. (we're talking a decent night's rest here with peace of mind and all that jazz) .
I have been very reluctant in the past to address certain matters because I fear a breach of my own privacy, however- I believe people in the world really need to understand that they are not alone in many of the situations that make them feel that they are.
Remember!- you're honestly not alone in this
and
"you're not the only person dealing with this."
Many things in this world have the capacity to break out spirit- (namely and basically) abandonment,betrayal and rejection. That's pretty much what it all boils down to.
When someone dies, we easily feel abandoned and in come rushing all the horrid emotions with knowing that someone you love has passed away . Perhaps you and your best friend have a semi- permanent fall out- chances are betrayal was probably in there somewhere. Let's say you love someone but they don't love you back, they say NO to your marriage proposal- Rejection. All this to show that though our experiences with hurt and pain are different- we are not exempted from it. Ir is just manifested differently in all our lives .
At this current moment, I have many people in my life dealing with heartache- I am also one of them. It is not entirely romantic for all of us. Some have lost family, some have lost lovers, some are coping with unrequited love and others are dealing with watching their sleezeball ex's either cheat or move on. Love triangles, love quadrangles, baby mamas, baby daddies, hostile take over jabals, Cruella deville in laws ruining relationships. ...Whats my point?
My point is everyone is dealing with shit.
I was on Facebook a moment ago and I came across a "Chor Soaps "(a piece of soaps/Soaps/Drama). Sadly, a couple split up, the girl looks like she is having the time of her life..and well the man who apparently benefited from her somewhat popularity has vanished into the background. I wondered for a moment how that guy was doing.
It appeared that he was the last to move on. Personally, I managed to earn my Master's degree in moving on late. I'm not embarrassed to say...and well, though my little observation online of "he who shall not be named" may be untrue, personally, its something I must address because I have reached an emotional milestone.
I, as at a few days ago, was able to look myself in the eye and say yes..I love him, deeply,passionately,completely, in my imperfection and in his..I love him but so what..and at the point where I said so what- I accepted a lot of what was killing me slowly inside and that my dear is really important. Some of us would opt out of accepting our emotions towards a situation and in turn delay our wake up call and healing .
No more emotionally bypassing.
Resistance is truly futile. A great part of moving on is accepting how you feel. It doesn't necessarily mean acting on these emotions-for instance, the spells of anger need to be ignored most times, especially if it borders violence. Break ups don't need to equal jail time and saying holding onto your peace is a big part of it.
You may at times wonder how you were so blind, how did you let this happen. You may even get mad at God and wonder why he could spite you with such misfortune. Your relationship with God will also improve if you allow it. ]You may need constant and round the clock attention from friends and buddies to keep you upbeat and smiling, if you opt out of rebounding...and unfortunately, even with a million friends..You will spend many moments feeling quite alone and un-relate-able. Worse are the hours when you should be sleeping..but can't...or eating but can't...or working..but can't...or plain ole enjoying the moment..but find it so hard to.
It is at the moment where you find yourself experiencing sheer difficulty with the basics of your life that you may encounter people who want to give you that oh so ballsy pep talk. That gutsy move on! speech. The revealing talks about how all this time they thought your lover was a loser...and all the crap that you don't want to hear because it doesn't console you and simply leaves you feeling prompted to just Lavern Spencer your way over the whole situation and act as if it never happened ...but feeling your way through it is necessary.
You see, whatever we don't learn, will be retaught. God is a gracious and patient teacher and he is determined to ensure we learn the syllabus necessary for living. Bypassing emotions issues, rebounding and all other quick fixes may keep us seemingly stable for a while..but sooner or later, the same lesson will walk into your life with a different name, eye colour, even nationality if necessary and will continue to do so, till you process whatever virtue you lack in character.
So, if you opt to walk through the valley of the shadow of death, fear no evil. God is with you. You are here for a reason. Your life is happening as it is, right now for a reason. Keep doing the best you can with the knowledge that you have, because God is at work. Perhaps your crush has just played you, you lover of three years cheated ,Your divorce has been finalized and you still love him or her...but the reality is, yes you love them- but so what.Loving someone is not the end of the world.
Your life is not on hold while you hold back tears or let them flood in...and so yes, you may love him/her deeply and you may continue to do so for weeks,years even but you ought not to deprive yourself of enjoying your life also just because you love someone who makes you question whether they even loved you at all.
I personally am tired of the lies and won't add insult to injury by lying to myself and so I would not recommend such.
Feeling like you can go over the moon and back for someone doesn't mean that you're going hi jack a space shuttle in Nassau to do so. If love is what you feel towards him/her but you realize that destiny has engaged Operation Move On...then do yourself the kind and simple favour..Just admit
Yes, I love you.
Yes, I love her.
Yes, I love him...but so What... This is all for a season and God is always ,ALWAYS , in all ways, in control.
-For those who are the last to move on.
Always Soulful,
Stella.
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