Deep down inside, I think I long for a beautiful and passionate romance. With reality always attempting to permeate those dreams, I am more of the view that this world win romance is becoming less than possible.
Its posted every damn place you look, "love isn't perfect"..its messy. Love is pain. We're just a few more blunt words from coming out and saying- Love is shit. It hurts like hell. Its not worth the time to fall in love..your teeth will remain lodged in the pavement. Its that much of a pain in the ass.
Now where as all this can be very true. I think, just like most things, it depends on your perspective. To be honest, a little desperation exist in all of us. Desperation for different things of course. In my country, the word desperation aka DES is abhorred and a grave insult.
Nou pa "swef". Nou pa "des". We not "firsty".
The word is black listed but sadly its true. Some of us are desperate for love in a way that makes us feel like we need to prioritize other things before falling in love, that way when love comes around it will be easier. Others are longing in their hearts that pretty soon they will meet someone, anyone! and God so help them, let that person be worth while- so they can finally join the elite social media circles or just have that contentment within themselves that they have a man/woman.
I know this offends some people. We want to evolve into people who don't need people but need them at the same time. We're advocates for independence but fail to see how that simply just does not carry through in ever aspect generally and for every person. As many people want to be single, free, travel the world and lay in a nursing home or in their own home in their old age and reminisce..there are as many people still longing for someone to create their personal happily ever after with.
Some of us want the stereotypical overgrown lawn, cooped up, 9 cats, 4 dogs, 11 birds, 7 rabbits package from that brochure. Others want lives of mass adventure....of sucking down a breakfast wrap whilst speeding down the highway like they're living Fast 7...and others want the house, the car, the "comfortable" job, the 4 kids, loyal dog and amazing spouse. We all want something unique to what our spirit desires. Sometimes our desires have more to do with how we grew up, what we saw around us and what we were taught would be the right things to want but essentially- we're all looking into that brochure and love is up there in the pickings too.
I have met people who secretly long for someone who will leave them as free as free can be-no marriage, no classic commitment. Just I like you more than everyone and you feel the same about me, so lets just do this forever..or until we decide we don't want to.
Others are making deep devotions to God to send them their husband/wife ,longing that God's time with prayer will give them greater patience to hold out or that God will finally let his man/woman bounty overflow in their lives.
My concern, especially as a young and growing believer is that we have learnt very little about catalyst loving. Thanks to the fairy tales we've been poisoned with and other stipulations as per the church- many of us have found it hard to guard our hearts effectively and by extension ourselves.
I know a lot of people. I know of far more and in those circles many people have it as some stuck tape that "God is in control"- Yes that is a fact. He is the beginning and the end, also fact. God also gives us choice. ...will the church say amen?.. Everything in life is purposed but I do not necessarily subscribe to the opinion that it could not have been different. Every person who walks into your life is not your Romeo or Juliet. Sometimes they have come to be your Judas. That isn't to say that the person hurting you is altogether bad BUT..for you to get to your higher level and higher calling you needed a challenge to grow from. We love to praise our good but it gets hard in this human existence to see the purpose of our bad.
Sometimes we are catalysts in other peoples lives and we ultimately have very little to gain from their lives and our lives coinciding besides the fact that we had to teach them what they did not already know. Truth be told, this is how many of our youth get hurt. We're looking for heroes in people who were not meant to stay past their season. We want 10 years from someone who was purposed to serve 5. Now don't get me wrong, the 10 years could have very well been possible if we did certain things differently but we can only operate with the knowledge we have at the time and retrospect sometimes is enough to make you better for a next relationship but not sufficient to win back the person who taught you those lessons.
"Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime and never let go till we're gone"...yes Celine Dion. That shit can happen fo' sure. Love in its divinity and majesty can also send us to prep school. Love can also demand that we suffer through the prerequisites thereby nurturing us into better selves so we can later come into bomb.com unison with someone else.
"Gold is tested in fire"
If you've ever been young and deeply in love, you know what I'm talking about. YOU CAN meet someone who is near perfect. Yes you can!. YOU CAN meet someone who makes you laugh right down deep to your bones. Yes you can. You can feel the deepest, most profound and heartfelt ,intrinsic gravitation to this person and they in turn can be coo coo for your coco puffs and still boys and girls it can go down the toilet like yesterday's lunch.
You can go from being Prince Akeem from "Coming to America"..shouting "I'm in love..." over the mountain tops to sitting in your room listening to drake with the most sincere look of.."this guy is preaching to the choir.
This isn't to say your 15 months of love or 15 years was not worth it and that it was not true love-no. But like I always say, for everything there is a season and each occurrence prepares us for another feat in life if we but take the right lessons from our experience...and yes I said 15 years earlier. A relationship that long can really hurt just about anyone when they have to come to terms that it might be over. Heck, we've had many romance motivated suicides in St. Lucia and in the world. It can hurt, really bad, so bad that someone can feel like they have no choice but to end their suffering by ending their lives but even at the end of a relationship so long, it too can be a catalyst.
Some people come to prepare you for a relationship, even though that means by first giving your a sample of a full blown shit filled one. Crazy right? Not everyone functions on the level where they know what they want. Some of us work better by process of elimination. Not eliminating partners. No! but by identifying the values within ourselves we can't compromise on. Some people serve to prepare us for love and to do so they must be strategically placed in our lives...close enough so that they can effect change but that doesn't mean that they're "the one".
I kid you not.
Embrace your seasons and let love flow.
I am becoming more grateful for my catalysts but first..I had to stop replaying a finished season.
Always Soulful <3
Its posted every damn place you look, "love isn't perfect"..its messy. Love is pain. We're just a few more blunt words from coming out and saying- Love is shit. It hurts like hell. Its not worth the time to fall in love..your teeth will remain lodged in the pavement. Its that much of a pain in the ass.
Now where as all this can be very true. I think, just like most things, it depends on your perspective. To be honest, a little desperation exist in all of us. Desperation for different things of course. In my country, the word desperation aka DES is abhorred and a grave insult.
Nou pa "swef". Nou pa "des". We not "firsty".
The word is black listed but sadly its true. Some of us are desperate for love in a way that makes us feel like we need to prioritize other things before falling in love, that way when love comes around it will be easier. Others are longing in their hearts that pretty soon they will meet someone, anyone! and God so help them, let that person be worth while- so they can finally join the elite social media circles or just have that contentment within themselves that they have a man/woman.
I know this offends some people. We want to evolve into people who don't need people but need them at the same time. We're advocates for independence but fail to see how that simply just does not carry through in ever aspect generally and for every person. As many people want to be single, free, travel the world and lay in a nursing home or in their own home in their old age and reminisce..there are as many people still longing for someone to create their personal happily ever after with.
Some of us want the stereotypical overgrown lawn, cooped up, 9 cats, 4 dogs, 11 birds, 7 rabbits package from that brochure. Others want lives of mass adventure....of sucking down a breakfast wrap whilst speeding down the highway like they're living Fast 7...and others want the house, the car, the "comfortable" job, the 4 kids, loyal dog and amazing spouse. We all want something unique to what our spirit desires. Sometimes our desires have more to do with how we grew up, what we saw around us and what we were taught would be the right things to want but essentially- we're all looking into that brochure and love is up there in the pickings too.
I have met people who secretly long for someone who will leave them as free as free can be-no marriage, no classic commitment. Just I like you more than everyone and you feel the same about me, so lets just do this forever..or until we decide we don't want to.
Others are making deep devotions to God to send them their husband/wife ,longing that God's time with prayer will give them greater patience to hold out or that God will finally let his man/woman bounty overflow in their lives.
My concern, especially as a young and growing believer is that we have learnt very little about catalyst loving. Thanks to the fairy tales we've been poisoned with and other stipulations as per the church- many of us have found it hard to guard our hearts effectively and by extension ourselves.
I know a lot of people. I know of far more and in those circles many people have it as some stuck tape that "God is in control"- Yes that is a fact. He is the beginning and the end, also fact. God also gives us choice. ...will the church say amen?.. Everything in life is purposed but I do not necessarily subscribe to the opinion that it could not have been different. Every person who walks into your life is not your Romeo or Juliet. Sometimes they have come to be your Judas. That isn't to say that the person hurting you is altogether bad BUT..for you to get to your higher level and higher calling you needed a challenge to grow from. We love to praise our good but it gets hard in this human existence to see the purpose of our bad.
Sometimes we are catalysts in other peoples lives and we ultimately have very little to gain from their lives and our lives coinciding besides the fact that we had to teach them what they did not already know. Truth be told, this is how many of our youth get hurt. We're looking for heroes in people who were not meant to stay past their season. We want 10 years from someone who was purposed to serve 5. Now don't get me wrong, the 10 years could have very well been possible if we did certain things differently but we can only operate with the knowledge we have at the time and retrospect sometimes is enough to make you better for a next relationship but not sufficient to win back the person who taught you those lessons.
"Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime and never let go till we're gone"...yes Celine Dion. That shit can happen fo' sure. Love in its divinity and majesty can also send us to prep school. Love can also demand that we suffer through the prerequisites thereby nurturing us into better selves so we can later come into bomb.com unison with someone else.
"Gold is tested in fire"
If you've ever been young and deeply in love, you know what I'm talking about. YOU CAN meet someone who is near perfect. Yes you can!. YOU CAN meet someone who makes you laugh right down deep to your bones. Yes you can. You can feel the deepest, most profound and heartfelt ,intrinsic gravitation to this person and they in turn can be coo coo for your coco puffs and still boys and girls it can go down the toilet like yesterday's lunch.
You can go from being Prince Akeem from "Coming to America"..shouting "I'm in love..." over the mountain tops to sitting in your room listening to drake with the most sincere look of.."this guy is preaching to the choir.
This isn't to say your 15 months of love or 15 years was not worth it and that it was not true love-no. But like I always say, for everything there is a season and each occurrence prepares us for another feat in life if we but take the right lessons from our experience...and yes I said 15 years earlier. A relationship that long can really hurt just about anyone when they have to come to terms that it might be over. Heck, we've had many romance motivated suicides in St. Lucia and in the world. It can hurt, really bad, so bad that someone can feel like they have no choice but to end their suffering by ending their lives but even at the end of a relationship so long, it too can be a catalyst.
Some people come to prepare you for a relationship, even though that means by first giving your a sample of a full blown shit filled one. Crazy right? Not everyone functions on the level where they know what they want. Some of us work better by process of elimination. Not eliminating partners. No! but by identifying the values within ourselves we can't compromise on. Some people serve to prepare us for love and to do so they must be strategically placed in our lives...close enough so that they can effect change but that doesn't mean that they're "the one".
I kid you not.
Embrace your seasons and let love flow.
I am becoming more grateful for my catalysts but first..I had to stop replaying a finished season.
Always Soulful <3
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