Life as a diagnosed "talkative"

“When you don't talk, there's a lot of stuff that ends up not getting said.” 
― Catherine Gilbert Murdock, Dairy Queen

I was diagnosed as a "talkative" from age 5. That curiousity age where your mind vacums the world so you can draw your own conclusions. Being an only child *at the time*, I had no siblings close to my age and no siblings overall to bounce my thought and ideas off of. Yes, I had thoughts and ideas at age 5. Unlike what  many people believe, a child is not a breathing,dribbling, flesh puppet doll till the age of where their motor skills become respectably commendable. We start to reason slowly-long before that.

“For millions of years, mankind lived just like the animals. Then something happened which unleashed the power of our imagination. We learned to talk and we learned to listen. Speech has allowed the communication of ideas, enabling human beings to work together to build the impossible. Mankind's greatest achievements have come about by talking, and its greatest failures by not talking. It doesn't have to be like this. Our greatest hopes could become reality in the future. With the technology at our disposal, the possibilities are unbounded. All we need to do is make sure we keep talking.” 
― Stephen Hawking

Of course, when a teacher is trying to implant a school syllabus into your head, any natural impediment is a problem, eventually warranting the "parent-teacher" conference and though I have had many of those in my life time, I have seriously cared about none, except one at High School where I topped history and wanted to hear how Mrs. Greaves would break the news.Besides that, I cared less for school scrutiny. This isn't to say that I was a "filed" rebel- it just wasn't the important thing as per my priorities list.

Going through report books, I saw for years the excellent remarks. The always first place and always top of this and always obsessively talking. I was a diagnosed talkative and my teachers/academic doctors thought it to be in my best interest to spend less time beating my flap and spend more time I suppose listening to them beat theirs. *shrug*..who knows.

Fast forward 10 years, drama was approaching its highpoint in my adolescent life and in retrospect now I see how being a talkative contributed to it. I frowned then and occasionally still do now at persons who forego their birth right of voice and seem to just nod like the masses as the opinions of verbose persons. I respect sensible opposition. Emphasis of sensible.

Many of the problems I encountered all served their purpose which I assume is me passing on the lessons from my faux pas to you. 

..Fast forward 16 years at approximately 12:10 pm ...It feels like the world and by that I mean  the people around me have fallen into some sort of category coma. This is the umpteenth time I've conducted the experiment- not deliberately of course, but whenever my spirit is inclined to deep silence- I surrender. The problem here is that because people stereotype "talkatives" and treat them accordingly- they often think that silence mean something is wrong with you or that you're on the brink of HULK FURY- which I find so comical and people respond to my quiet compliance with attitudes of retaliation- to which there was no initial threat, just silence.

The reality is that I do  not  truly consider myself a talkative. I am just charismatic and if I am intrigued- I will pursue what aroused my interest close to no end.I know when to stop. Strange enough though- considering how I have always been labelled a talkative, I have realized  that they serve a great place in the world. Good talkatives often guide people to places of higher thought and laughter. In the abscense of them- the general mood seems to collapse.  We carry a heavy burden- we are not allowed the grace of shifting  moods. Our happy disposition is captivating and anything deviant of it is a crime punishable by questions of "whats wrong with you" "are you upset" or the dreaded- * let me avoid you till you become happy again and I can return to suck ur happiness at your neck*

In my experience..I have found that I have learned a lot from talking. I have learnt and taught others by asking the questions they were fearful to ask for the benefit of us all *trying hard right now to not throw in a terrible N.I.C punchline* but now...I have embarked on a personal self discovery journey where I have found myself stumbling upon monumental remedies for some of my life's issues by simply resorting to silence...

You see as much as talking and laughter Ignites the world and there people who ignite it are by their very action, light and beauty to the world..they at times suffer they own darkness that warrants remedy...thought not often solicited as a prized remedy, silence can be just as effective in naturing a peacful spirit as talking to others would.

I have realized at times that the more unbalanced people I speak to about a problem, they more complex my problems would seem. I have had many persons warn me of keeping my issues to myself..but I have also been privileged to know those who  advise, silence, sleep and prayer with a pinch of  conversation with someone you trust to help alleviate problems.

“When you give yourself permission to communicate what matters to you in every situation you will have peace despite rejection or disapproval. Putting a voice to your soul helps you to let go of the negative energy of fear and regret.” 
― Shannon L. Alder

..........I suppose, that is all.

Soulful.