All my birthdays leading up to this big one have been pretty cool, fun, spectacular. However this is the year that everyone born in 1993 turns 21. This is a new age. A new release of fish into the world's pond. More youngsters legally sitting on bar stools. More youngsters doing legal things, legally.
I had grand expectations of this highly acclaimed age. I suppose somehow I had hoped to wake up one morning in a balcolette bra and high waisted blue panties with a gold belt around my waist and the world would know I was wonder woman all along and then I'd hop onto my magical boat mobile and life would become the biggest and best adventure. Point is, I have a vivid imagination, as you've already come to understand and 2. I had grand expectations of 21.
Being quite a spiritual individual- I also hoped for profound enlightenment on my 21st Birthday as I do have a strong philosophy of "My 10 best years". (I'll explain later if you guys are ever interested)
Any who- 21 translates into Year one. I would need to be fueled and geared up for the challenges of adulthood. Never did I quite fathom what truly laid in waiting for me. Just like everyone else I suppose.
Long Story made short.
21 isn't necessarily the year we come to know ourselves. It can happen when we're 10 or 15, 19,35 or 40. Some of us may die and may never come to a true understanding of ourselves. We're all searching but none of us know for sure. Some know more than others and because of their confidence,they lead people to think that they know the right way of doing things. Change is the most important thing that we do not always plan for in life and this is what causes grave emotional distress. It is important to cater for things when they do not go as planned. Expecting the unexpected sounds ridiculous if you process it on a shallow level but you always must (cater for the unexpected). Things change. People change and you will change too. We learn new things and constantly evolve. Unfortunately, though things change and people claim to know that "they know people change" - their actions do not always reflect an understanding and acceptance when people and things do not follow through as they had hoped in their hearts and minds.
This T.V, tablet, smart phone, laptop.."every electronic and false connectivity device" age has allowed us to be just who we think we should be, without every really having the opportunity to realize that many of us are still "nobody". Yes, I said it. NOBODY. We wear things and say things and do things without fully knowing why. Black men calling others Nigga because somehow, America, the powerhouse of many trends has blasted social media with "ma nigga"/"nigga memes. Its no longer fashionable that women call other women endearing names-Calling their friends Bitch and hoe is a way to somehow fit in. After all reality T.V says so, who are you to have a mind and think for yourself, I mean honestly, some people take life far too serious..I'm just calling her Bitch..I put "my" before it..you needa chill..-_-'
Girls and Boys. I laugh at you.
There are many things that anchor our spirits and deceive us into believing thats "who I am".
"I'm a bad bitch".."I'm a real nigga"
"I'm popular- people like my pictures"
"I'm an online celebrity- I'm sure one day someone's mouth will foam in the streets whilst they break into panic just longing for my autograph"
"My nude and thong pictures have really motivated young men and women to have deep relationship values"
"I don't fear the law- you see how I post pics of my weed and bong online..I don't hide from the cops ,matter of fact when I see them, I invite them, they ma homies"
Look at me at xyz place with all my xyz people, nevermind that if I truly needed someone right now that they would all be busy waiting for my emergency to kill me- Look at us, We fancy and you're not. "You can't sit with us".
One of the things that use to annoy me was when people were so very certain that they knew me- without ever really knowing anything about me. Somehow spying on some's facebook profile is a full on (auto) biography of a person these days.
Allow me to try to break a chunk out of one of the vicious whirlwind cycles.
How Instragram has allowed people to define themselves.
"Lucy"* joins instagram. Lucy wants followers. You aren't 'doing" instagram right if you aren't crunching down on followers. Lucy thinks-"what do people with followers post pics of". Fabulous instragram girls live fancy, eat fancy, gym hard, show their bodies with profound and completely unrelated highly intellectual quotes. Lucy wants followers. Never mind that Lucy does live quite an amazing, undocumented life. Lucy has just been born into Instagram and on instragram, Lucy is still a nobody- Therefore as Lucy has figured it out in her head. She must exaggerate her life 2 fold and make sure she interrupts her meals to snap pics, and interrupt her intimacy to snap pics, and interrupt the casual fun between friends to ask everyone to come squeeze into a frame to snap pics. Now of course you know, if everyone doesn't look good in the pic then Lucy needs to snap another one, and another one and suck her teeth and change her pose, Because Lucy needs a good picture to post to the world that she is somebody too. Why am I saying this? I'm saying this because I have seen many Lucys .
Eg 1. I have been to several functions with a Lucy*. Hikes, Yoga you name it and this Lucy makes us wait whilst she take a selfie. Never mind that other persons had to bend her body into her pose for that picture. She got a picture and you see a picture and you are impressed. I on the other hand felt privileged enough to see the front end and the back end- the truth and the pretense and so, I'm not moved when fake is guising itself up to look like Truth.
I suppose had I only been witness to the social media end, I'd be in awe, maybe a little insecure..you know how that happens when we see things.-be honest-don't lie!
Eg.2 I have been around mopey people who've sat just flipping through social media posts. Unhappy and not smiling. I have also been a witness to persons pulling the NEW REPORTER. They dress up to where you will see and make sure that that looks good. You know what that means. Scalp to Belly button is full on Paris Runway..Below belly button is the effect of a lazy and boring Saturday, where chores are half way done, legs are not shaved and its altogether not fabulous.
Eg.3. I have been around Men too, who run to the corners of social gatherings to allow them to smile and pose shamelessly , so that they can inform others online that they have friends and that they get invited to places and that they don't sit alone at home...EVER.
Now, I do understand that there is always a lighter side. It happens to all of us, this amazing moment that we can't let pass by, we need to remember it forever and for always. We want to have this picture to pull out at Barbeques a couple years from now and pull the heartstrings of those who can't remember that we use to have that much fun.
However, when you have to sweat to give the illusion of happiness, then you are not happy. You are pretending to be. This is not a personal attack on Instagram at all. It happens with many other social media sites. We are working hard to prove happiness to others without always feeling that degree of happiness within ourselves. People don't post pictures of food stamps or the last few packs of ramen noodles in the close to bare cupboards. People don't often post pictures of their consecutive failing grades at schools or the last $50 they have in their wallet till pay day. Many people run into the bushes when a camera comes out and they've been caught wearing that same outfit for the umpteenth time. BUT- the things we are so very terrified for others to know are the things we need to face and overcome. I am not saying if you are broke to flaunt brokeness and accept it as your way of life but don't cash out your whole pay cheque and fan it out to make others believe that that is just for tonight when you know in your heart, that Lucelec, Wasco and all others have their names written on the bills your hold in your hand.
I see too many people breaking their backs to be accepted by people who may never accept them because these people are fully aware that that is not who this person is.
I dealt with my crosses some time a back when I realized deep with in myself that there was a rift between other people and myself. I couldn't be like them. I could try for the heck of it but it wasn't what I wanted long term. I have always been a very concentrated person. My energy isn't easily hidden and so no matter how hard I tried to conceal it, it was obvious that I would not fit in and consolidate with the typical popular masses. It is better to be genuinely happy than to work to give the impression that you are.
You don't owe it to anyone to exaggerate your life and you don't deserve to exaggerate yourself and circumstance because by doing so, you say that what you have and where you are and the temporary emotions you feel are not good enough - when it is perfectly fine to be completely immersed in your present. It agitated my spirit on a very personal level to see the drastic difference between who we are and who many of us pretend to be ,when the Truth is our realities, our Truths and the ways things really are, are more refreshing, relate-able and in-line with our true selves than who we pretend to be. If we must be honest, we will dare to declare that the REAL person..is always better than the fake. The REAL is often times happier and more (actually) progressive than the fake. REAL over Fake..
Why then are people so afraid to be themselves...?
Why then are people so afraid to be REAL..
“I had no idea that being your authentic self could make me as rich as I’ve become. If I had, I’d have done it a lot earlier.”
I don't think Oprah is talking about money in particular...though, I do believe that it definitely leads to a richness inside and out.
May you be inspired to be true. May you be Inspired to be you.
Be Genuine.
Love & Soul
Stella
I had grand expectations of this highly acclaimed age. I suppose somehow I had hoped to wake up one morning in a balcolette bra and high waisted blue panties with a gold belt around my waist and the world would know I was wonder woman all along and then I'd hop onto my magical boat mobile and life would become the biggest and best adventure. Point is, I have a vivid imagination, as you've already come to understand and 2. I had grand expectations of 21.
Being quite a spiritual individual- I also hoped for profound enlightenment on my 21st Birthday as I do have a strong philosophy of "My 10 best years". (I'll explain later if you guys are ever interested)
Any who- 21 translates into Year one. I would need to be fueled and geared up for the challenges of adulthood. Never did I quite fathom what truly laid in waiting for me. Just like everyone else I suppose.
Long Story made short.
21 isn't necessarily the year we come to know ourselves. It can happen when we're 10 or 15, 19,35 or 40. Some of us may die and may never come to a true understanding of ourselves. We're all searching but none of us know for sure. Some know more than others and because of their confidence,they lead people to think that they know the right way of doing things. Change is the most important thing that we do not always plan for in life and this is what causes grave emotional distress. It is important to cater for things when they do not go as planned. Expecting the unexpected sounds ridiculous if you process it on a shallow level but you always must (cater for the unexpected). Things change. People change and you will change too. We learn new things and constantly evolve. Unfortunately, though things change and people claim to know that "they know people change" - their actions do not always reflect an understanding and acceptance when people and things do not follow through as they had hoped in their hearts and minds.
This T.V, tablet, smart phone, laptop.."every electronic and false connectivity device" age has allowed us to be just who we think we should be, without every really having the opportunity to realize that many of us are still "nobody". Yes, I said it. NOBODY. We wear things and say things and do things without fully knowing why. Black men calling others Nigga because somehow, America, the powerhouse of many trends has blasted social media with "ma nigga"/"nigga memes. Its no longer fashionable that women call other women endearing names-Calling their friends Bitch and hoe is a way to somehow fit in. After all reality T.V says so, who are you to have a mind and think for yourself, I mean honestly, some people take life far too serious..I'm just calling her Bitch..I put "my" before it..you needa chill..-_-'
Girls and Boys. I laugh at you.
There are many things that anchor our spirits and deceive us into believing thats "who I am".
"I'm a bad bitch".."I'm a real nigga"
"I'm popular- people like my pictures"
"I'm an online celebrity- I'm sure one day someone's mouth will foam in the streets whilst they break into panic just longing for my autograph"
"My nude and thong pictures have really motivated young men and women to have deep relationship values"
"I don't fear the law- you see how I post pics of my weed and bong online..I don't hide from the cops ,matter of fact when I see them, I invite them, they ma homies"
Look at me at xyz place with all my xyz people, nevermind that if I truly needed someone right now that they would all be busy waiting for my emergency to kill me- Look at us, We fancy and you're not. "You can't sit with us".
One of the things that use to annoy me was when people were so very certain that they knew me- without ever really knowing anything about me. Somehow spying on some's facebook profile is a full on (auto) biography of a person these days.
Allow me to try to break a chunk out of one of the vicious whirlwind cycles.
How Instragram has allowed people to define themselves.
"Lucy"* joins instagram. Lucy wants followers. You aren't 'doing" instagram right if you aren't crunching down on followers. Lucy thinks-"what do people with followers post pics of". Fabulous instragram girls live fancy, eat fancy, gym hard, show their bodies with profound and completely unrelated highly intellectual quotes. Lucy wants followers. Never mind that Lucy does live quite an amazing, undocumented life. Lucy has just been born into Instagram and on instragram, Lucy is still a nobody- Therefore as Lucy has figured it out in her head. She must exaggerate her life 2 fold and make sure she interrupts her meals to snap pics, and interrupt her intimacy to snap pics, and interrupt the casual fun between friends to ask everyone to come squeeze into a frame to snap pics. Now of course you know, if everyone doesn't look good in the pic then Lucy needs to snap another one, and another one and suck her teeth and change her pose, Because Lucy needs a good picture to post to the world that she is somebody too. Why am I saying this? I'm saying this because I have seen many Lucys .
Eg 1. I have been to several functions with a Lucy*. Hikes, Yoga you name it and this Lucy makes us wait whilst she take a selfie. Never mind that other persons had to bend her body into her pose for that picture. She got a picture and you see a picture and you are impressed. I on the other hand felt privileged enough to see the front end and the back end- the truth and the pretense and so, I'm not moved when fake is guising itself up to look like Truth.
I suppose had I only been witness to the social media end, I'd be in awe, maybe a little insecure..you know how that happens when we see things.-be honest-don't lie!
Eg.2 I have been around mopey people who've sat just flipping through social media posts. Unhappy and not smiling. I have also been a witness to persons pulling the NEW REPORTER. They dress up to where you will see and make sure that that looks good. You know what that means. Scalp to Belly button is full on Paris Runway..Below belly button is the effect of a lazy and boring Saturday, where chores are half way done, legs are not shaved and its altogether not fabulous.
Eg.3. I have been around Men too, who run to the corners of social gatherings to allow them to smile and pose shamelessly , so that they can inform others online that they have friends and that they get invited to places and that they don't sit alone at home...EVER.
Now, I do understand that there is always a lighter side. It happens to all of us, this amazing moment that we can't let pass by, we need to remember it forever and for always. We want to have this picture to pull out at Barbeques a couple years from now and pull the heartstrings of those who can't remember that we use to have that much fun.
However, when you have to sweat to give the illusion of happiness, then you are not happy. You are pretending to be. This is not a personal attack on Instagram at all. It happens with many other social media sites. We are working hard to prove happiness to others without always feeling that degree of happiness within ourselves. People don't post pictures of food stamps or the last few packs of ramen noodles in the close to bare cupboards. People don't often post pictures of their consecutive failing grades at schools or the last $50 they have in their wallet till pay day. Many people run into the bushes when a camera comes out and they've been caught wearing that same outfit for the umpteenth time. BUT- the things we are so very terrified for others to know are the things we need to face and overcome. I am not saying if you are broke to flaunt brokeness and accept it as your way of life but don't cash out your whole pay cheque and fan it out to make others believe that that is just for tonight when you know in your heart, that Lucelec, Wasco and all others have their names written on the bills your hold in your hand.
I see too many people breaking their backs to be accepted by people who may never accept them because these people are fully aware that that is not who this person is.
I dealt with my crosses some time a back when I realized deep with in myself that there was a rift between other people and myself. I couldn't be like them. I could try for the heck of it but it wasn't what I wanted long term. I have always been a very concentrated person. My energy isn't easily hidden and so no matter how hard I tried to conceal it, it was obvious that I would not fit in and consolidate with the typical popular masses. It is better to be genuinely happy than to work to give the impression that you are.
You don't owe it to anyone to exaggerate your life and you don't deserve to exaggerate yourself and circumstance because by doing so, you say that what you have and where you are and the temporary emotions you feel are not good enough - when it is perfectly fine to be completely immersed in your present. It agitated my spirit on a very personal level to see the drastic difference between who we are and who many of us pretend to be ,when the Truth is our realities, our Truths and the ways things really are, are more refreshing, relate-able and in-line with our true selves than who we pretend to be. If we must be honest, we will dare to declare that the REAL person..is always better than the fake. The REAL is often times happier and more (actually) progressive than the fake. REAL over Fake..
Why then are people so afraid to be themselves...?
Why then are people so afraid to be REAL..
“I had no idea that being your authentic self could make me as rich as I’ve become. If I had, I’d have done it a lot earlier.”
Oprah Winfrey
I don't think Oprah is talking about money in particular...though, I do believe that it definitely leads to a richness inside and out.
May you be inspired to be true. May you be Inspired to be you.
Be Genuine.
Love & Soul
Stella
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