Worthy to Shut up!!!

I recently had the most intellectually stimulating and promising conversation. I haven't had one like that in a long time and it was coming from a man. Please.Do not be negative, I am in no way trying to berate any male.No. I am not implying that they lack the capacity to do so either,that would be a blatant lie. It has just been a while since I have heard a YOUNG man speak positively,with focus and purpose for his life.

Women are very touchy feel-y, very intuitive,though some seem to  ignore this spiritual tug in the right direction and run wild in the wrong one. All I'm saying is that it doesn't take much to prompt a passionate conversation from a woman.

Men on the other hand.....

its not that easy.

I was completely blown away,I must admit. I thoroughly enjoy intellectual stimulation. Deep,insightful, thought-provoking conversation. I love discussing ideas and goals and plans. Problem is, many young men are preoccupied chasing paper and where as that can be considered a good thing,their paper chasing is to obtain short term unsustainable goals-primarily liabilities the way I see it. Many are paper chasing to buy expensive shoes and clothes.They want to buy vehicles they can't afford parts for. They want to put money aside to go to parties,meet women,drink rum and then complain that pay day is too far away. Unfortunately, I've found that many young men are just not serious about life.

My boss once told me that I should wait till I'm about 30 to see what all the studs (hot guys) look like then. She insisted .."oh how the mighty have fallen".

Considering that so many young men think its cool to have "chill" conversation. Sometimes going as far as speaking in monotone. 

"yeh,my dawg..wuh you saying dere"

"none uh my G..jus cooling out"

and then they sit and WAIT for something entertaining to happen.

Now please guys, I'm not hating on you for chilling. Its perfectly fine to just sit back and relax but for some of you relaxing is all you do.

I suppose that is why it has been so difficult for purpose driven women to just settle or have respect for some men. Recently, a man sat in my company and said to another that you should not be with a woman who earns more money than you do, that's how they fall out of line and disrespect you.They control you.

That a statement exuded male chauvinism. I wasn't shocked. I didn't cringe. Many men share that sentiment.

HOWEVER!!!!!

I found someone who could shut me up. Not in an aggressive way though. I met a man. His maturity was out of this world. His vision was impressive. His momentum in pursuit was even more spectacular. You see, men think women nag. However complains are geared towards correction. We talk because something needs to be fixed and we will stop talking when a decent solution has been stumbled upon. Sad to say, women keep nagging because some guys aren't stumbling upon anything. They aren't going anywhere. They have no current purpose that is deemed significant by their female counterpart.Instead of decoding what the females in their lives have to say-many guys would prefer clock out on conversations and complain to their friends about how "She b*tching*. No she isn't. She is talking and becoming more and more aggressive at your apparent lack of comprehension.

In all honesty, its only sensible that some women stop trying to breathe air into the dead and move on with their lives however ,for some, its simply not that easy. Many have made a commitment and are tied to their partners in ways that cause them to have no choice but to make it work. The problem is that many men have not proven worthy for us  to Shut up. They want to be with a woman but are busy playing boyish games. Busy pursuing things that have no serious value and will not add substance to their lives.

I must admit,it was refreshing to meet someone who could shut me up,not that I am a chronic nag or anything. I just have a tendency to get into a battle of wits with people because I am a very opinionated young lady. This time though, what this guy spoke was worth a listen. It was worth my complete and undivided attention. I sat silent as he painted a vivid image of his dreams and aspirations and I know the masterpiece he has created was just a fraction of this world he had in his head that he would turn into his reality.

Women love men with vision. Women love men of action as well. A man of such ambition would (hopefully) never dissuade you from pursuing your own dreams. When you decide to follow your path to success in every aspect of your life, anything mediocre sounds like really bad telephone static. Its awful to listen to and just makes you want to hang up. 

Women have been berating men for a while now because of their own behaviour. I'm sure that "men are dogs" is framed somewhere on a wall in some feminist hangout or something but I think that's all due to the fact that good men are hard and rare to find. Perhaps because we women are trying to pick oranges from apple trees and possibly because we have not exuded characteristics of a good woman.

You can sit and talk about all what you deserve.Fair.

In the face of a good man, are you truly what he deserves?

Meeting someone of such profound intellectual, spiritual, emotional focus and honesty has broaden my mind as to what really lays beyond the horizon.

And onto the topic of submission. I really disliked that word. SUBMIT. SUBMISSION...its like "turn down" I guess. In my mind its always been like "submit to what?!?!".. Submit FOR WHAT???!?!" but surprisingly enough that very word came out of this individual's mouth.

My short lesson in submission.

I have this embarrassing romantic novel I'm reading right now. I, of course enjoy my good read in the privacy of " any privacy" to be honest. I left this book laying on top my bag only to return to see said individual with my book in his hand. Oh the rush of panic and shame!!. Poor short me trying to reach for a book that I could not grab. I wasn't sure if he had read anything but God knows I didn't want him to read anymore-especially considering that I'm a chronic under-liner. I said to him, "please don't read it". As we left,he  still had it in his hand and so I asked- "did you read it?". He in turn replied, " You asked me not to, can a man not SUBMIT to a woman?" and that struck chords for me. I always associated submission with some sort of agonizing sacrifice or mental slavery.It sounded like a word of defeat and crushed aspirations however when he said that, I experienced a very necessary epiphany on the whole "man-woman-submission" topic.

In retrospect, I realize I submitted my attention to him long before this topic came up as he carried himself and spoke in a manner that deserved my submission. It wasn't thought of as a sacrificial submission because I felt like it was an opportunity to listen and grow with an intellectual equal.

I will admit.The feeling was very humbling.It was also very new but refreshing all the same. 

"Its never a case where we don't want to give in.Its not even a case of being a feminist.I'm not,though I have been accused many a time by men who simply do not understand. You see, when you sit and you craft yourself into someone deserving of what you aspire to, mediocrity becomes the biggest form of disrespect. It insults all the effort you have put into your character. It insults all the challenges you have over come.It insults all the tears you've cried when you felt like you've just had enough.I can't just give up or give in to just  anyone. I have worked too hard building these walls against the elements of life. If you want to see over these walls, they will not be brought down. You need to be prepared to climb."- L.Duncan/SoulfullyStella

 

Soulfully Silenced.