I know I've been away from you guys but I've been out-living and pocketing some life-lesson butterflies to share with you.
Last week bumpkins. I went up for a pageant....I laughed when I typed that. Its sounds so absurd...but I won't spit on my own dreams. I think pageantry is beautiful. I am not a die hard fan but I do marvel at the guts the contestants have before a critical audience. I always thought about queen shows and I am a realist(at times) and therefore I will keep it real with you. I do not have the cookie cutter-bomb.com body. I didn't think I'd make the cut.I look back now and I think its more of a psychological thing. I lacked the confidence and that lack was driving a huge wedge..like a mote...with swamp water and alligators...between me and my dream(s). But..God has a sense of humor and I marveled at what he did. I fell sick Thursday and went home. I came back on Friday and found out that my name was jotted down for a pageant which would be held on the following Wednesday.I was trapped. It was exciting but nerve wracking. I mean-I wanted it but...God knows..left to my own devices,I'd make up excuses till forever so as not to go through with it.
God has crafted life especially for you. I was just a bit blown away by the challenges He decided to throw in there as well. It was a Creole pageant...i.e..it wasn't in English.The pageant required that we speak French Creole throughout. We had our introduction,talent,modelling of gowns(wob diwet) and question and answer. At first I was flipping out of my skin. I had some crazyyyy chaperons,thirsty for this win.I have never done pageantry before and though it wasn't Ms. Universe, I must admit..in that short space of time, I had some serious sacrifices to make-sleep being one of them.
I had rehearsals immediately after my working day. I found myself getting home after 11pm almost every single night. Practice makes perfect and my chaperons made me run routines over and over. It also boiled down to how bad I wanted it. On a full day of rehearsal, I had cramps like they were going out of style..and around that time of the month, I'm like a vegetable.I surprised myself that day though. I sucked up that pain like pain was my middle name or something...well with the help of lots of pain killers but you get the point.
The days just keep flipping past and my knees buckled more and more as we were shuffling to tie loose ends. I was scared but excited. This was my time. This was my chance to cross something else of my mental bucket list. The atmosphere was extremelyyyyyyyyyyy competitive and that boxed me in a bit. It felt like pressure I didn't need but hey,it was a competition after all.
I went in for the kill and I was never more grateful for how I function. The nerves were like rising tide till the lights shone in my eyes..after that..I was just gone. I became who I needed to be..ME..no apologies!
You guys..I spoke creole!..no English in between. FLUENT!..like I had never spoken a word of english in my life. Victory one!
I killed every single segment...After my intro,my friends Julene and Ester came rushing to the back and they were like.."oh my gosh! you were possessed! that was so good". Possessed by the spirit of God! Fear just escaped my body.
I danced for my talent and it was exhilarating. I remember being in the dressing room before my talent. It was so different. I was alone. I did everything in that room by myself. People are suppose to be super surrounded at that point..right?..just before they go on stage. No,it wasn't like that for me..I was rushing to look as flawless and beautiful as possible..ALONE. The thought of discouragement tried to lurk in my mind but I stepped on its neck. I told myself..that essentially..I have God with me..and right now..things are the way they are because that's all I need. I'd be doing a solo. No one would be with me anyway.I found courage and confidence,talking to myself in that mirror, in that room,all alone.
I got several compliments and positive feed back after. I modeled my gown..but my foot got stuck somewhere in the trail. I didn't fall..but it affected my confidence whilst I was there..and I did need to recover from that.
We moved on to question and answer. I was contestant number 2. and before I put my hand in that bag to pick my question, I said spirit of the living God,give me my question. I got a question that I answered impeccably. The audience was blown and I was blown away just as they were.
The competition was neck in neck. Persons couldn't tell who would win. The judges seemed to have a hard time too.They took so long to deliberate. I know you must be thinking..did she win..did she win...did she win?...
Well guys, no, I came second by the skin of my teeth. It was sooooooo BITTERSWEET. I'm sorry if I disappointed you. I wish I lived that cliche story giving life but na. I got several persons calling me after..saying congrats and how proud they were of me. Persons who called me their queen. Friends who walked out because they were upset. Drama.
My friend came first. I didn't see her performances but I trust that she did well. I was happier with myself knowing that she had won pageants before and this thing wasn't new to her at all. I on the other hand,quite a novice did pretty well for myself.
Guys. The things we want have a tendency to look so far from us and too good for us. Its easy to see how deserving and capable others are..but what about you. You deserve piece of that pie. Don't chicken out. If you're in it..be in to win it. Do so well that your competition comes to applaud you and says that you were the one to beat. Be in it so much that you motivate others to step up and be better. Lay the blocks down and build your dream. People will attack what they cannot understand but it is your vision. When it is complete, they will stand in awe and you will stand with the satisfaction and thankfulness that you didn't listen to them.
When I got home, I started to think and though I was flooded with congratulations and prizes, flowers and sashes- I began to question myself. I started belittling my achievement. I started over analysing and beating up myself for my shoe getting stuck in my dress...It lingered..till a long distance call came through. It was my dad and he said,.."girl, I hear you give them licks you know..A win is a win".
Have you ever seen a parent scold a child's first step or fail to give them praise? Do you see them going.."oh please, its not like you ran a marathon or something"..NO..because just like my dad said...a win is a win..and I left that stage truly feeling like a queen.
Don't be afraid to step out and do the things you're dreaming of.
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“Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.
Last week bumpkins. I went up for a pageant....I laughed when I typed that. Its sounds so absurd...but I won't spit on my own dreams. I think pageantry is beautiful. I am not a die hard fan but I do marvel at the guts the contestants have before a critical audience. I always thought about queen shows and I am a realist(at times) and therefore I will keep it real with you. I do not have the cookie cutter-bomb.com body. I didn't think I'd make the cut.I look back now and I think its more of a psychological thing. I lacked the confidence and that lack was driving a huge wedge..like a mote...with swamp water and alligators...between me and my dream(s). But..God has a sense of humor and I marveled at what he did. I fell sick Thursday and went home. I came back on Friday and found out that my name was jotted down for a pageant which would be held on the following Wednesday.I was trapped. It was exciting but nerve wracking. I mean-I wanted it but...God knows..left to my own devices,I'd make up excuses till forever so as not to go through with it.God has crafted life especially for you. I was just a bit blown away by the challenges He decided to throw in there as well. It was a Creole pageant...i.e..it wasn't in English.The pageant required that we speak French Creole throughout. We had our introduction,talent,modelling of gowns(wob diwet) and question and answer. At first I was flipping out of my skin. I had some crazyyyy chaperons,thirsty for this win.I have never done pageantry before and though it wasn't Ms. Universe, I must admit..in that short space of time, I had some serious sacrifices to make-sleep being one of them.
I had rehearsals immediately after my working day. I found myself getting home after 11pm almost every single night. Practice makes perfect and my chaperons made me run routines over and over. It also boiled down to how bad I wanted it. On a full day of rehearsal, I had cramps like they were going out of style..and around that time of the month, I'm like a vegetable.I surprised myself that day though. I sucked up that pain like pain was my middle name or something...well with the help of lots of pain killers but you get the point.
The days just keep flipping past and my knees buckled more and more as we were shuffling to tie loose ends. I was scared but excited. This was my time. This was my chance to cross something else of my mental bucket list. The atmosphere was extremelyyyyyyyyyyy competitive and that boxed me in a bit. It felt like pressure I didn't need but hey,it was a competition after all.
I went in for the kill and I was never more grateful for how I function. The nerves were like rising tide till the lights shone in my eyes..after that..I was just gone. I became who I needed to be..ME..no apologies!
You guys..I spoke creole!..no English in between. FLUENT!..like I had never spoken a word of english in my life. Victory one!
I danced for my talent and it was exhilarating. I remember being in the dressing room before my talent. It was so different. I was alone. I did everything in that room by myself. People are suppose to be super surrounded at that point..right?..just before they go on stage. No,it wasn't like that for me..I was rushing to look as flawless and beautiful as possible..ALONE. The thought of discouragement tried to lurk in my mind but I stepped on its neck. I told myself..that essentially..I have God with me..and right now..things are the way they are because that's all I need. I'd be doing a solo. No one would be with me anyway.I found courage and confidence,talking to myself in that mirror, in that room,all alone.
I got several compliments and positive feed back after. I modeled my gown..but my foot got stuck somewhere in the trail. I didn't fall..but it affected my confidence whilst I was there..and I did need to recover from that.
We moved on to question and answer. I was contestant number 2. and before I put my hand in that bag to pick my question, I said spirit of the living God,give me my question. I got a question that I answered impeccably. The audience was blown and I was blown away just as they were.
The competition was neck in neck. Persons couldn't tell who would win. The judges seemed to have a hard time too.They took so long to deliberate. I know you must be thinking..did she win..did she win...did she win?...
My friend came first. I didn't see her performances but I trust that she did well. I was happier with myself knowing that she had won pageants before and this thing wasn't new to her at all. I on the other hand,quite a novice did pretty well for myself.
Guys. The things we want have a tendency to look so far from us and too good for us. Its easy to see how deserving and capable others are..but what about you. You deserve piece of that pie. Don't chicken out. If you're in it..be in to win it. Do so well that your competition comes to applaud you and says that you were the one to beat. Be in it so much that you motivate others to step up and be better. Lay the blocks down and build your dream. People will attack what they cannot understand but it is your vision. When it is complete, they will stand in awe and you will stand with the satisfaction and thankfulness that you didn't listen to them.
When I got home, I started to think and though I was flooded with congratulations and prizes, flowers and sashes- I began to question myself. I started belittling my achievement. I started over analysing and beating up myself for my shoe getting stuck in my dress...It lingered..till a long distance call came through. It was my dad and he said,.."girl, I hear you give them licks you know..A win is a win".
Have you ever seen a parent scold a child's first step or fail to give them praise? Do you see them going.."oh please, its not like you ran a marathon or something"..NO..because just like my dad said...a win is a win..and I left that stage truly feeling like a queen.
Don't be afraid to step out and do the things you're dreaming of.
.jpg)
“Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.
Almost everything--all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure--these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.
Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. "- STEVE JOBS
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