"In-Like".."In Love"

With this boom in online communication  over the past few decades,much of what use to be physical is now happening via the use to cellphones,tablets,laptops and other tech-gadgets. Of all the unfortunate things to come as a result of this, I think the distortion of love is by far the saddest.

In my country,Creole is our second language. There is this song-(i can't spell in creole so forgive me) It says- "Si mweh di-ou ca(sa) fair mweh la pen..mais oui ca vrai, mamai-la achwelmuh,yo paka fair luhmoo pou uh yeh) It means- If I told you,its hurt me/makes me sorry(to see) children these days..not taking love seriously..or for anything. That song was sung by our very own Dame Marie Selipha Descartes.Our Queen of folk.

Persons are quick to love "on-line" and can barely function without conversation anxiety in person. I recall a time when my FB page was flooded with PDA(public display of affection).

 Paragraphs of "baby I love you-I miss you,"you da best,haters can't break us..Ride or die" and all sorts of papishow (Local Parlance here-Papishow=bullshit). Within two-twos,these same, inseparable love birds were circulating rumours of their partners infidelity or poor sexual performance or any minor issues they had. These couples are living in the spot-light, for the spot-light,not for one another. That is not Love. Hate to break it to you.

Persons speak of their unfailing love for one another but  don't function on the level of acceptance,rather they long to change their partner and make them more like themselves. When two people come together,compromise is necessary,two lifestyles are trying to consolidate.When a person is being asked to forsake his/her innate characteristics..then Love is slowly being crossed out of the picture. When I say this I mean there is a difference in asking someone to stop smoking(which is not good for them) and asking them to dress or speak differently so as to suit you).

One of the best indicators of True Love stems from here..and the Bible says in  1 Corinthians 13:4-8

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues,they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Love does not merely occur because "i like to see your profile picture" or because "we would look good together". It is something much greater than that and it honestly offends me to see it being thrown around so loosely. I'm sure you must be like.."well,why are you offended". I am offended because such reckless throwing around of the "love" is a clear indication of people's ignorance and confusion. I firmly believe that this confusion is responsible for some of our societal problems. The rate of divorce in my humble opinion is all due to the fact that maybe one of the parties in the marriage didn't even understand what love meant in the first place. 

There are young persons who report having several boyfriends or girlfriends,yet experience their "first love" sometimes by their 7th partner. I may have exaggerated here a bit.Love calls for a supernatural acceptance of your partner's flaws and a profoundly deep connection with their spirit. It is an appreciation of this person's strengths and short comings  and analysis within yourself as to how you can best compliment your partner and make him/her her strong where he/she is weak.  

There exist persons who consider themselves to be in deep,undying, goo-goo ga-ga love yet are repulsed to the bone at the thought of their partner taking a dump. I found that hilarious. I could not hide my flabbergastation. 

Not too long ago,I saw a picture of an acquaintance-deformed due to an unfortunate accident. His person still stood lovingly at his side. You claim to love right?..if today or tomorrow- Your rich boo went broke, your gorgeous boo suffered deformity,you popular boo suffered deformation of character..Where would you be?
How "down" you are for the bad speaks volumes of your depth of love.Some persons truly lack conflict resolution skills or how to deal with radical change.

Pardon me for saying this..but ..what makes you think you're in love?
Are you even truly loving?

Would would abandon ship if you partner could no longer be and do for the you the things that he use to?
I have outrightly heard females brag the appeal of a boyfriend with a ride/vehicle. If you were reduced to PA11-ie.PA Eleven aka your two feet. Would you pout and drag them around. Chances are you haven't quite separated your love for the convenience your boo's ride offers and the love of you boo itself.

It is okay to be like someone. It is okay to be in like with someone.Love must start somewhere. Parading under the facade of love is what is scary. Your person may believe you and may be badly hurt by what seems to be an end to your love . If you've had relationships before and you way it against this guiding principle of what love is as stated in the bible-you may realize that you were not in love at all.

You could not trust/gave little reason to be trusted.

Both parties in the relationship seek after their own interest.Neither is putting the other first. Both are being selfish and True love is self-less.

Lust can even be mistaken for the "in-like" stage. Having sex is no confirmation of love. Women have gotten trapped in unplanned and un-catered (for) pregnancies because of this "I love you so have sex with me " scheme-Only to be abandoned there after.

Someone who is serious about you will not hide you from the people who are important in his life-like family and friends.

Love is not a Facebook declaration 
Love is not hundreds of pictures on instagram of you two laying in bed 
Love is not him paying for everything you touch
Love is not publicly embarrassing your person.
Love is not blatant disregard for their feelings
Love is not skipping class and going behind buildings to fondle
Love is not  accepting his/her self destructive habits

By this time ,I'm sure you're asking yourself..

What is love?

At this time I will resist the urge to burst into spontaneous song ..(baby,don't hurt me...NO Mo'). Take your time to truly ponder..are you in love?

I would advise that persons restrain themselves when it comes to how much of their relationship they take to social networks. A relationship should be between two people,inviting all your friends/followers to share in your bliss may just be the death of it..

When in love,you have nothing to prove to anyone else but your person and God,since his love is what you model after to treat your love right.

Good Night:)
Soulfully Yours..As Always..