Lesson In- Depending On People

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Disappointment-when shit happens from the persons or circumstances that you would not expect shit to come from.What I'm about to say may come off as highly pessimistic if you don't take sufficient time to process. Dependence on people has been a recurring issue in my life as a young lady. I have found myself subject to numerous disappointments. People always seem to be letting me down. 

 Recently, I attended an event. I won't say what happened but let's just say its the sort of situation where you think to yourself..."what the hell am i doing here?"..."I shudda stay at my home uno..chps" but you're very much there,in a very inescapable situation. On that night in question, disappointment paid me a visit like never before. I was beyond words. I had lost the will to associate with the persons who had caused me so much mental anguish. Even now..as we speak..since I consider this a conversation, I find myself beyond pissed all due to me depending on someone.

 I remember stumbling upon this revelation a few times too many, that God will continue to place circumstances in your life till you have adequately learnt the lesson. Nothing is more frustrating than being in a predicament-getting through it and being right back where you started. When that has happened to me, I couldn't help but feel like I had shot myself in the foot. I wondered why I kept making such a stupid move.

  Bumpkins


Don't surrender your power to people.

Don't take this from a stance of arrogance but when you're lazy, you're going to give out the things you could do on your own to other people. Sometimes, its not always because we're lazy. Sometimes, its instant gratification-the "I need now" but "can't do now" and "circumstances won't allow now",so here,do this for me. This is setting oneself up for a massive slap in the face. There is nothing wrong with delegating your business and personal matters to be taken care of by other people-just make sure that these people will treat YOUR business as if it were THEIR business.

Skyscraper Expectations.

I remember my mom telling me about this. She told me that I need to wash away my naivete-..she said.."It doesn't mean  that someone wouldn't do to you what you would never conceive of doing to them". I'll admit,by the time that lesson had sunk in-I became a very callous individual. I had very little regard then for how I made people feel. I became an agent of active Karma. If you did it to me. I would do it to you. I felt like equality was important-after all,we all appreciate fairness right? Wrong!..My expectations of the people around me were surreal. I don't know where I got them from. I just thought that things should be a particular way and when situations unraveled in an unexpected manner,my disappointment was indescribable.No exaggeration. I look back now and I realize that I did not have the best conflict resolution skills.
Now of course,- the reason I incorporate my personal experiences in here is because I don't want you to feel like I'm at a distance preaching to you.  People will let you down,in the very same way you occasionally let persons down.We however, set ourselves up for disappointment by our unrealistic expectations of people and their abilities. 

 People will do lots of things on a daily basis that will irk you. Things like;

  • Eating too much out of your snack when they ask/you offer
  • Entrusting the completion of an important document to someone who shirks the responsibility
  • Using your stuff without permission
  • Refusing to pay money that you loaned them
  • Breaching Girl Code and Guy code
  • Invading your space
  • Copying your individual sense of style and trying to pass if off as their own   
These are just some simple mentions of things we wish people wouldn't do but do anyway. Why do they do it? I duno why? That's just life, you know? 

People are going to screw up in your life all the time. Forgive them. When there seems to be no end to their messing up- feel free to pack your bags and move out of bullshit alley. In everything there is a balance. I hope you're learning to find your centre as I'm getting closer to mine. Know when enough is enough-don't burn on a short fuse and don't tolerate nonsense for eons-that is a sign of low self esteem.

Learn to be more self sufficient. Do the things you need to do. Learn new skills. They will be assets when your time comes and you'll be a force to recon with because of that experience. 

Learn to do without and I will say this again- LEARN to do without.I am by no means perpetuating an existence of deprivation HOWEVER our lives and our stresses are due to our dependence on much which is outside ourselves. Our constant and over-boiling need  will have us grabbing at people and situations and shuffling them together in an attempt to paint our short term fantasy. 

We all exist in these our individual lives to function semi-independently.  We will need the human interaction to not only keep us sane but to provide us with lessons that we ought not to waste our numbered years trying to learn all ourselves. Depend on people to give you  JUST your seed, or JUST your soil or JUST to have put you in a place to give you JUST enough and shut up about the rest. Yes, shutting up will also be a valuable asset. Sweat from running mouths is useless. LIPSERVICE as my daddy always calls it. There is nothing in talk, but there is always a lot  in action. Do not depend on hand outs. 

One of the greatest reasons so many persons don't get as far in life as they could have is because of their neglected potential but more so, their glorified sense of entitlement. Don't behave like people owe you everything-they don't. If we thought of each of our relations from a more appreciative standpoint,we might all be a few notches ahead in life.I recently saw this show where this guy had a girlfriend/common law wife and 18 month old child. They lived in his mother's basement. He doesn't feel obliged to pay bills or move out. He says its his mom's job to take care of him..apparently till death. I sat there thinking that that guy was a real big zero. I looked at his situation and I was like, your mom birthed you,fed you,clothed you,gave you a place to lay your head, what more do you truly want?

Pardon my rant.

All we have is ourselves and our thoughts,(in terms of people,but spiritually,God is always there).Learn to love yourself and depend on yourself. You can do it. 

...I thought this would be a little interesting for the ladies. This is my independent lady song. Bumpkins,I depend on me.

I know this next picture is very separate from our "Lesson In" topic but it was truly Food for thought. Do ponder and enjoy!

Soulfully Yours
As Always ^_^
Till next time

                                    

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